ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize