I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
