Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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