??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
