she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
