i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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