I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
