There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
