i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
