The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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