did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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