Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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