I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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