Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
