if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
