Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Its about making memories worth repressing
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
