well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
