guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
