Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
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