I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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