So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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