I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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