I'm lost and stupid without you.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Randomize
