Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize