You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I am one with the molecules
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
