as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
