theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
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