Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
