he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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