that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Drunk is a universal language darling
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