It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
