I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I can't put those talents on a resume
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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