What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
