You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
