i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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