just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
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