my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
