I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
