shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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