How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
