....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I think your dad took our porno
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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