look no pants
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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