no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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