I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
When are your genitals available?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
