I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
