SEEEEXXX PLEASE
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
