I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
