Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
