Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
