Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
