There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Randomize
