i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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