It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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