I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
