I need help removing her.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
