then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize